Tuesday, May 17, 2011

BiTcH mE bAbY oNe MoRe TiMe

Finally college days coming to an end and I will live happily ever after!

Wait a minute! Did I sound like I was real happy getting out of this place?

Oh well then it’s great because I’m happy!

These four years were extraordinary. Every year was dramatic and significant in it’s own way. But for God sake four years at MITS is more than enough.

Here you literally get stuck in a desert of 3000 girls with your friends from other colleges popping up the question ‘hey did you see any lesbians?’ and teasing you that for next 4 years you are without water and by water they meant guys! Hats off to those who could afford a love life here! Not because of their charisma but their thirst mostly.

So recently I’ve started to notice how many people in the final year of their graduation are ready to sob-sob and get senti-senti and how many will say hasta-la-vista with joy.

‘I-will-miss-u-till-death-do us-apart’ is freaking crazy but it's okay to say it if you mean it . Many of us were ready to die and take rebirth so that they don’t repeat the same mistake of landing here.Trust me they won't in future.

Some people I met here were so lovey-dovey that it was difficult to understand them initially and were comparable to indigestible sugar-free cookies which just has the feel of sugar i.e. they say ‘I’m a cookie’ but you know a sugar-free cookie is just not a cookie!

That pretty much reminds me of my first year when I felt people around me are my favorite cookies!

First year and Fourth year! No wonder they begin with the letter ‘F’ and the ‘F’ factor is so dominant throughout! Yes you got it right. F factor is the factor responsible for triggering all the beeps on MTV Roadies. I thought I had enough of Fake friends in first year. I was learning to know people back then and I think I will always be learning as they come and go.

Some came with an expiry date and it was no use hanging on to them after they crossed the date. One thing I realized is that however hard you try you won’t be good enough for some people. So don't give a damn.

All this wisdom comes free with my brand new wisdom tooth.

Well let me share my valuable experience with girls. By experience I mean nothing of profane nature. It’s all professional and bitchy!

DISCLAIMER: The characters mentioned below are not fictious and any resemblances in real life are not coincidental and purely intentional.

  1. Girls are those species which can be sweet and sour at the same time.

Let me illustrate this with an example.

Girl Y: I’m fucked . Just 6.5 this time.

Girl X: (smiling with 32 beauteous teeth) Yaar do not worry next sem you will rock and anyway marks don’t matter.

Girl Y: hmm. I hope so. How was yours?

Girl X: (smile vanished) Don’t ask..stuck on 8…what should I tell my parents?

I’m finished. My future is dark. I won’t get a good MBA college.

  1. Girls can change their minds. It is their birth right.

Girl X: I tell you that girl Y,she’s a slut and her boyfriend is so lame!

After some certain time period when girl Y brings gifts for X and takes X to pub with her boyfriend.

Girl X: Y is the sweetest and most helpful person I’ve known.

Guess what Miss X you are the most disgusting person I’ve known and you are so cheap that somebody just bought you!

  1. Girls are possessive.

Girl Y: Can I have your notes for some time.

Girl X: Yaar.. I’ve to study at night.(i.e. 7 hours from now)

Girl Y: I just want to get a photocopy. Will take hardly 15 minutes.

Girl X: Hmm.. Okay but don’t give it to anyone else and do not underline or scribble anything or drop water on my notes.okay?

I wonder if X had so many conditions Y had to comply with before taking her notes what kind of clauses she would have put if she were supposed to sign a nuclear deal!

4. Girls believe in values and table manners.

Girl X: I feel Y is selfish. She doesn’t wait for us to finish our meals and walks away when she’s done. She doesn’t even bring an extra glass of water for anyone. Yesterday she forgot to ask me for lunch!

My dear friend X please cut the crap and don’t you see I’m so not interested in doing ‘Hum Saath Saath Hai ‘.

  1. Girls can laugh even on the lamest of jokes or ideas.

Prof X: So you need to come tomorrow with a PPT on your assigned topic.

I hope you all know what a Power point presentation is? A Presentation which has Powerful Points!(smiling and expecting response )

Girls U,V,W,X,A,B,C : hahaha…ROFLOL …OMG he’s so funny!

I think Prof. X has a bad sense of humour and so does U,V,W,X,A,B,C.

6. Girls follow the rule of association.

Suppose X,Y,Z,L,M,N are 6 girls who say they are friends.

Girl X : I had an argument with Y . She’s a bitch.

Since X likes Z and Z likes M and M dislikes N so X,Z,M stops talking to Y and N.

7. Girls can be green monsters.

Jealousy among girls can be due to a variety of reasons- marks, looks, boyfriends, fan following, placements and packages blah blah. If a girl hates another girl without any considerable reason it is because she’s jealous. Combined with ego jealousy makes a girl a green monster.

8. Girls can be bold.

Boldness is redefined. It is not about appearance any more but action oriented. It is about going off the limits. It is not just coaxing people in authority in college. The real bold is one who can have a so called clandestine affair though the whole college was already talking about it. Not to mention the friends who are basking in the glory of it. Oops! Miss Bold your dirty laundry already got public!

9. Girls can booze

Well it is difficult for people to understand that girls can booze much so girls will prove to the world that they can by uploading their booze party pics on FB and tagging unwilling friends too. Thus forcing their friends to remove them from their FB wall! I know guys who do drinks and drugs but even they don’t have the guts to tell the world about it.

10. Girls can make an issue out of nothing

Girl X: I got placed in both ‘ABC’ and ‘LMN’ but yet not decided which to join.

(ABC and LMN are IT firms conducting mass recruitment in the country)

(After 1 month)

Girl X: (FB status update) I’m so confused still not decided. Who deserves me- Guys please help!

First of all I’m happy you got placed but don’t act like you have to choose between Google and Facebook. You are one among the lakhs of engineers in the country who got a job in an IT firm. Look around a bit and feel the excellence.

Most importantly I learnt a lot about PEOPLE here. I learnt the biggest influences in life are the people who are sitting right next to you or are around you. They will affect you no matter how hard you try to escape it. I thank those influences(including the suck ups) as they made me a wiser person and also earned me a post for my blog.

My Roomie is an alarm clock personified. And when her ‘Wake up Trish’ song hits my ear drums, it activates my brain and compels me not to bunk classes and meals. Her assuring before every exam ‘syllabus ho jayega abhi soja ya online timepass kar le’ is what I love about her. And my Queen of electronics, Silky, assuring me that she’ll get me through every electronics paper I had, made my life so comfortable and joyous even if it was a matter of few hours or just a day. Not to mention Kirti, Ritu, Richa …class would have been hell without you guys.

I’ve friends who are intelligent, smart, sensitive and very beautiful in and out and have qualities I tried to imbibe. Late night chats on the hostel roof about how life changed in few years, the anxiety about the future, how to deal with guys, how to prevent getting married in coming four years, making fun of ‘miss wanna be’ around , we discussed it all. Imitating friends and enemies, singing old hindi songs together in the middle of the night, pouncing on that last piece of pizza, the crazy unending photo sessions, the fests, the parties about which I can’t disclose anything about….we had all sorts of fun one could have had in a college life!

I’m not really going to miss anything but cherish whatever good or bad I had because the good made me smile, laugh and feel lucky while the bad just made it sure that I felt more blissful when the good comes around. Eventually when you’ll leave college you’ll realize that it is just your graduation degree that you brought home and rest everything-your friends and all those sweet and sour memories are left behind as one of the best chapters in life.

I wish all my friends and batch mates all the very best in life and hope all of you live life the king size.Amen.


vineet said...

bohut ganda dhoya yaar,i esp loved the rule of association and laughing on lamest joke thng..shud promote this post, u wil get a lot of admiration

murthy_thehandsome(?) said...

awesome yaar... bahut acha likha hain tumne... i really loved it.. seriously sab gals ki marli tumne... as vineet said u will get a lot of admiration... but be ready for the criticism also from ur friends.. :)
but seriously a very good post i have across after a long time... hopw to see more from ya...

SHANKY said...

Dunno y..but this time nothing to say...just that its gr8 u learned from BAD things. but certainly thr r many things i dint like...sumwhr ur attitude n sumwhr..pata ni...confused!

But u really faced hell bitchy situations dat i knw swthrt. Thans to Piyali for being with u everytime. Meri teraf se usko ek lapakdaar pappi dena :P

All the best for Rest :)

trish said...

@vineet:thanx a lot...well this is one post that I didn't write at all for the sake of appreciation.My blog is my space.That is all what matters :)
@murty:thanx a lot :)....as i mentioned in d post I don't give a damn what others say...coz others do wot dey gotta do..dey didn't hestitate in doing it then y shd I hesitate in penning down wot they did.simple.

@shanky:well I know why are you confused coz you want to see things the way you have seen it which was awsum.My attitude has been candid & people generally don't like candid talks.But as I said others do wot they want to and I write wot tickles me.My mitsian frnds who faced it understand it and backed me to publish this.nothing else matters.

Cindrella said...

words seem to be flowing from your heart with all the frustration you must have had during the four years...and the examples about girls you mentioned!! so true!!! i have had the exact same situations back in my college!! girls can be really bitchy!!

well written!! keep blogging :)

trish said...

@Cindrella..well I cud hav written a post on each of them.But they are too many in number.four years were not easy for sure but I had immense fun in writing this post :)

Piu said...

An extremely well written blog Roomie !!!A refreshing post after a long time...Couldn't have put it in a better way myself.

trish said...

thanx roomie :)

alza-en-amor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
alza-en-amor said...

Quite a fantastic post.
Just happened to jump from one blog to yours.
Very articulate narration indeed!
Well done :)